Ask Dr. Donez!

Question 301: I got a question for you. Does Jay really hate Mario or is it just the neglected characters part? Answer back soon.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, in theory, Jay just thinks that Neglected Characters are cool and couldn't care less about Mario. But I think it's a conspriacy.

Question 302: Who do you think will win at King Of The Ring (WWF PPV event) Austin, Beniot, or Jericho?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Darth Vader. He can use the force.

Question 303: Do you think Chris Jericho will turn into a heel?
Dr. Donez's Answer: It would hurt, but sure, why not.

Question 304: How can video game characters go so long without food and going to the bathroom?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Nintendo starves us. PLEASE! GIVE ME SOME CORN!!! I'm SO hungry!

Question 305: hey Dr donez i have a question for you since ur so smart and all,have you ever played Super Mario RPG legend of the seven stars,well if u have then tell me if u can get ligi and wario if u can then how,i found out about wario and luigi on a web site.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Pft. Super Mario RPG... They put Shy Guys in, but no Tweeters??? Stupid Nintendo.

Question 306: Who REALLY is the weakest link? (IT IS NOT YOU!!!!!!!)
Dr. Donez's Answer: You.

Question 307: Ehehm, if a mosquito went inside your ear and bit your brain...would your brain start to itch?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yeah, and it would be a pain in order to scratch it.

Question 308: If you dropped a penny from the top of the Empire State Building and it landed on someone, would they get a concussion?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No, but they would be one cent richer.

Question 309: How many licks does it REALLY take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I told you, Nine thousand three hundred and thirty nine!

Question 310: HOW MUCH WOOD COULD A WOOD CHUCK chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Shoot me.

Question 311: If pro is the opisite of con what is the oposite of progress?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Ssergorp

Question 312: Are you and bill related? because you are a bird and your both in the comic.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Bill the who? Bill Gates? Heck no.

Question 313: I just want to lt you know the reason purple yoshi never bowser is because the purple yoshi was stuck on the moon TTTTHHHHIIIINNNNNKKK:IF YOU WERE STUCK ON THE MOON WITH NO SUIT DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD MAKE IT BACK IN TIME TO KILL BOWSER?????????????
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...ok...moving on.

Question 314: Bassed on this sentance what is my I.Q.?: i am smat.
Dr. Donez's Answer: I don't think the computer can go that low.

Question 315: Al Gore?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Bill, go away, this is my page.

Question 316: Will you give me an $9 octadecillion,9 zetabyte, (yes these numbers exsst I found them in a dictionary) 9 yadabyte, and 83 cents? PPPPPLLLLEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEEEEEE
Dr. Donez's Answer: I need better security at this place.

Question 317: When will Mario die? (when he does i'm having a huge celebration party)
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, since Video Game characters are pretty much immortal, it may take a while. Don't buy the cake yet.

Question 318: Would you like some Jello Pudding?
Dr. Donez's Answer: YES! FOOD! FEED ME! I mean...please?

Question 319: Did you play Sonic Adventure 2 yet?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Nah, I'm not much of a Sega fan.

Question 320: Is the glass half empty or half full?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Both.

Question 321: Do you have a face?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Of course.

Question 322: Why did you kill me when I was playing Super Mario Bros. 2?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Wow, I'm a total wuss. You must really stink if you lost to me.

Question 323: Why r trix only for kids?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because spelling iz for adults.

Question 324: What would happen if Apu Nahasapeemapetilan (the simpsons) ran a black market behind the comic book shop?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, then the Simpsons would just get a little weirder. If that's possible.

Question 325: Why the heck is Toad in SMB2 &SMB advance,? He's USELESS!!!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because Nintendo didn't want to make Jackie Chan a playable character.

Question 326: Whats with that new taco bell commercial playing "Bonanza" with the Grilled Steak Taco? It's SO ANNOYING!!!!!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Apparently annoying songs sell food.

Question 327: Hey Dr. Donez do u know a good site where I can get roms?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Not really, no.

Question 328: Since I just started reading ask Dr. D., I don't know if you have answered this yet. But you read the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy? That's a funny book. "Oh, no, not again." That killed me. By the way, how often do you change your underpants?
Dr. Donez's Answer: The answers are twice a week and yes respectively. Or was it the other way around? I forgot.

Question 329: Four things. First, if you've got a PhD, why do you spell "banana" with an extra "n"?
Dr. Donez's Answer: The extra "n" is for "super".

Question 330: Second, if Bill and Fred's title was from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, why didn't you change both names instead of just Ted's? Like Will and Fred or something.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...dude. Bill had his name before the Bill and Fred series. He would get pissed off if we forced him to change it.

Question 331: Third, did you realize that you're in the NC Presidential Election by now? By the way, because you chose Shy Guy as your running mate, you got my vote.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Wow, this is an old question. I really need to be less lazy.

Question 332: And finally, how did both Pokemon and Mario Party kill your father?
Dr. Donez's Answer: It was a team effort.

Question 333: When will the next deathmatch be posted and who is it between?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Soon. It will be between me and that bum Executrain.

Question 334: Why did u go to school for so long and why am i crazy?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because I had nothing else better to do. And you're crazy because you obviously havn't gone to school long enough.

Question 335: My sister wants to know why your such a dweeb.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, she has cooties, so there.

Question 336: I'm collecting magic powers, you got any (the ice pick doesn't count)?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Not that I know of. Although I sometimes spit fire out of my nose. I don't know what that's about.

Question 337: Am I not the master of magic?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No. I am. I'm not.

Question 338: I let Professor see your super-secret files of super secrecy. Do you have a problem with that.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Ha, yeah right. If you had my Super Secret Files, you'd be dead. Or at least severly wounded.

Question 339: I know what you did last Summer, but I forgot, would you remind me?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I hopped.

Question 340: I have reoccurring dreams of flying armadillos taking over the world. What should I do?
Dr. Donez's Answer: That means you don't brush your teeth enough. Use bleach.

Question 341: How many slices of bannana bread can fit in Mario's head before the bannana bread monkeys try to get it and make his head explode?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...well...(runs)...

Question 342: Hi. I asked in question 255 if you were on "The Simpsons." I just saw that episode and I found out that......... I PLAYED DR. NICK'S COLLEGE ROOMATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You played Sideshow Bob in that episode.... Wait a minute. Sideshow Bob wasn't in that episode!!!!!!!!! Oh, and I also want to ask you, can you get Jay Resop to add a new character to SMBHQ? The character's name is..... wait, it's not that important.
Dr. Donez's Answer: (Continues to run)...

Question 343: Why do you and Fred and Bill rule so much?
Dr. Donez's Answer: (Hits a wall). OW! Well, we were made by Jay, so we should in theory suck. Maybe he got lucky.

Question 344: (picks up raccoon leaf)Here,have some raccoon power!(Donez becomes Raccoon Donez)So,how do you feel?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I have a funny tail...

Question 345: Can I ask question 301? And if not can i have an autographed photocopy of a photocopy of a photocopy of your face?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No, you have to be stuck with Question 345. Haha. Ha ha ha. And no.

Question 346: What is behind your mask?(as seen in NC Jeperty)
Dr. Donez's Answer: My face...(duh...)

Question 347: If a train runs over a squirrel, and blood splatters on the windshield, does the squirrel's friend blow up the train by dynamite, or will the squirrel's friend cry until he explodes?
Dr. Donez's Answer: False. The squirrel is really a giant bunny trying to take over Asia.

Question 348: Am I your cloned brother who wants to take over Africa, or am I your cloned cousin who wants to take over Mexico?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You're funny.

Question 349: Dr.D you told me to ask fred really nicely in qustion 81and I told him you said he was a moron.So he gave me the Deathly Deathray of Deathly Deathness! And I am going to KILL you. Why should I not KILL you?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because I am holding your stuff hostage.

Question 350: Do you have the power to change his login name (which is Bass) to Anthony or something on the NCForums? If so, can you do it now? If not, oh well.
Dr. Donez's Answer: I do have the power, but if I did, it would cause the world to turn yellow.

Question 351: If Mario rescues peach so many times how come they've never gone on a date?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Come on...he's Mario. What more do you need to know?

Question 352: Why is someone asking why I'm banned from board?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Beats me. Maybe they ate too much banana bread.

Question 353: OK!! I'm mad! Someone took my real name! Can I zap them with the Intoxicating Intoxication Ray of Intoxicating Inoxicationess (Patent Pending)?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sorry, but I already patented the Intoxicating Intoxication Ray of Intoxicating Inoxicationess. I'm going to have to sue you now.

Question 354: Will Bob Saget use Toad the Clone to free Silence? If so will he use the Sacred Marker of Kyle?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Who was Silence again?

Question 355: In SMW, after you pass through the special world all of the cannons fire a new character named "Pidgit Bill" instead of the usual ammunition. Is there any connection to a certain pidgit we all know named Bill the Extra Guy?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Coincidence. You're crazy. Crazy I tell you. CRAZY!!!

Question 356: Do know how to get rid of Duo (ag get leave me alone pal) (PUNCH) Well do you now????? *0*
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...yeah. Grapefuit extract.

Question 357: Have you ever stayed up until 4 o' clock in the morning when you were ill, while watching "Duckman" on Comedy Central, until the point where you're hallucinating that John Lennon's soul is possessing your toilet paper roll, and your bed is flying through time and space, and that you have to stop Jason Alexander, who's really a demon, along with massive Hanna Barbera characters, and anthropamorphic blobs of spoiled soy milk, from stealing the holy grail, which was given to you by tiny images of Jesus Christ and Buddha, after you had to fight dopplegangers of yourself, with the help of Sully from the movie "Monsters Incorporated" who had been magically transformed into a shower curtain? Because I have, and it's fun.
Dr. Donez's Answer: I think Duckman may be related to me somehow. Distant cousin. Anyway, yes, I have. Or have I? I forgot. Silence, fool!

Question 358: If a tree fell down in the middle of the woods, and thousands of people heard it, would the people panic?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I know I would.

Question 359: I've accidentally super-glued myself to my computer monitor. What should I do?
Dr. Donez's Answer: TNT.

Question 360: What is the name of your next door neighbor?
Dr. Donez's Answer: All of my neighbors moved away...I think it was something I blew up...

Question 361: What color car does he drive? What model?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I said they are all gone.

Question 362: What is his marital status?
Dr. Donez's Answer: LEAVE ME ALONE! I have no neighbors! Ahhhhh!!!

Question 363: What are his views on lawn gnomes?
Dr. Donez's Answer: (Jumps out of a window). IEEEEEE!!!

Question 364: Was the planet of the apes Earth all along? Me and my friend were arguing about that, and he says that in the remake it wasn't, but I say that in the original with Charleton Heston, it was, because he saw the statue of liberty.
Dr. Donez's Answer: (Jumps back). Beats me. I don't watch a lot of movies. I just like to mix funny chemicals for kicks.

Question 365: How come in The Planet of The Apes (the original), it's rated G, even though Charleton Heston says multiple chains of obscenity filled sentences?
Dr. Donez's Answer: The word "a" isn't really a obscenity.

Question 366: If aliens abducted you, and forced you to watch Carrot Top's AT&T commercials, would you go insane
Dr. Donez's Answer: I thought I was already insane.

Question 367: Are you afraid of getting anthrax in one of these letter?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, not really...wait...what is that white powder? Is it sugar?

Question 368: Is it true that if you play an episode of "Rocket Power" backwards, you can hear cryptic messages encouraging you to buy Entemann's frosted donuts?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No, but you would hear the fool proof way to take over the world.

Question 369: What is your favorite word?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Banana Bread.

Question 370: What is your least favorite word?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Mario.

Question 371: When you die and go to heaven, what would you like God to tell you when you arrive?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I would like him to tell me that I don't have to do any of these dang "Ask Dr. Donez's" anymore!!!

Question 372: What would be your response if you woke up and your head was in a television set?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I'd go back to sleep.

Question 373: Am I so pathetic, that I'm actually wasting my time writing in about two dozen bizarre meaningless messages to a bird?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I guess so, pathetic-person.

Question 374: Why hate me because I'm beautiful?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because it's easier then to not-hate.

Question 375: What's bigger, Spain or Alaska?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Neither.

Question 376: How come Spain and Portugal are right next to each other but Spain's language is called "Spanish" and Portugal's language is called "Portuguese". Shouldn't it be "Portugulish" or "Spaineese" just to be consistent?
Dr. Donez's Answer: They arn't really next to each other. In between them is a Sub-spce Vortex that acts as an auto-translator.

Question 377: How come Portugal is so small, and Brazil is so big? Same with the U.K and America?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because Dr. Donez said so.

Question 378: Have you ever wished that Chunky Kong from Donkey Kong 64 would decapitate Pikachu and consume his head?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...yeah...sure...

Question 379: Did you know that 2001 was the real millennium?
Dr. Donez's Answer: 6.

Question 380: Who would win in a melee against Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, George H. W. Bush, and Gerald Ford?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I'd go with W, just because he's funny.

Question 381: Could you please sing me a song from the musical "Oklahoma"?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Not over my dead body. Which would be hard, if I might add, being dead and all.

Question 382: How come Newman was in Jurassic park?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because he needed some spare cash, I guess.

Question 383: What is a director's cut anyway?
Dr. Donez's Answer: It's all the cool stuff the director doesn't want other people to see.

Question 384: I have nothing else to say, I just wanted to make there be 25 questions, because 25 is a good place to stop.
Dr. Donez's Answer: That was a stupid question.

Question 385: Dr. Donez I saw your ice pick up for auction on e-bay, did Fred do this?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No! Curses! (Steals Ice Pick back).

Question 386: In question #279, what ARE the results when you eat a plate of Jell-O, & is Fred's Deathly death ray of deathly deathness for sale?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You don't want to know...

Question 387: Do you have a Gamecube?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I have a Gametriangle. Does that count?

Question 388: Would Jay let you have your game if I said I'd make you one?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Make it anyway. I won't tell him if you don't.

Question 389: May a make an NC RPG game with my friend's RPG maker?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Jay may hunt you down if you arn't careful.

Question 390: Do you know that Jay is playing you in the rpg?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Ack! No!

Question 391: How come in the VGF forum question number 957 you said call 991? Obviously you don't know that's the Army's secret code signal that says they can test nuclear warheads on your house.
Dr. Donez's Answer:

Question 392: Why is there a four legged spider with a pig attached to its butt standing on my pencil holding up a bus while singing "go go power rangers" that has a star trek shirt and a picaku hat did you know my name is mud hello are you jay?
Dr. Donez's Answer: (Yawn). These questions are making me sleepy. Sure, the answer is yes.

Question 393: Is there more than one way to skin a pikachu?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I know of at least fifty.

Question 394: Why did you cut my brain open,rip out my hart,hack me to bits,and eat my flesh in question 131?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Maybe I was just hungry.

Question 395: What makes you different from other tweeters? I bet your actually an reject tweeeeeeter with reeeeeeeeeject twweeeeter powers I bet if a strong tweeter came it would desroy the world an more importantly medabots.....MEDABOTS!!!!!!!!!!! More Medabots more power
Dr. Donez's Answer: I'm cool. Now go away.

Question 396: What is a Hobbit?
Dr. Donez's Answer: The stuff you put on Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwhiches.

Question 397: What did you ask for Christmas?
Dr. Donez's Answer: The world.

Question 398: Hello it is I Darth Pikachu! I just wanted to know if Jay Respo is single. He is the COOLEST GUY ON THE NC WEBSITE! I TOO HATE THE 100,000 PYRAMID! I WANT TO MARRY HIM SO WE CAN BE BUNNIES TOGETHER! THANK YOU! Signed, Darth Pikachu Ps. I am girl, don't worry:)
Dr. Donez's Answer: I'm scared.

Question 399: What would you do if Pikachu walked in to your room right now?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Get out my Ice Pick. Fast.

Question 400: Can I go to Disneyland with you?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sure. Why not. But you're paying.

Go back to NC