Ask Dr. Donez!
Question 801: Dr. Dorkenz, care for some tea?
Dr. Donez's Answer: STOP THAT!!!
Question 802: I realized I made some mistakes calling you a Dorknez instead of Donez. Sorry about that!?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Apparently you're not sorry! (Dr. Donez impales the question asker with the Ice Pick). There.
Question 803: Will you get really angry if And-Y415 calls you "Dr.Dorknez" again?
Dr. Donez's Answer: (Looks over at the guy with the Ice Pick in him) No, I don't think I'll be bothered by him again.
Question 804: *ahem* *says dr.donez's name lots of times. causing the camera to hit him in the face* oops! did that hurt?! am i sorry? yes i am?
Dr. Donez's Answer: (Grumble)
Question 805: How are you gentlemen !! Will you ever take off every zig, for great justice--so that all our base will belong to you?!?!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Dang, that's getting annoying.
Question 806: You said to answer if flying monkeys ate banannas, that "If regular monkeys eat regular banannas, then flying monkeys eat flying banannas." and earlier, you said the earth was shaped like a bananna! The Earth is flying through space. Are giant flying space monkeys going to eat Earth?!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes.
Question 807: Did it hurt when I threw that big syguy at you?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I was in the Sub-conian Hospital for a WEEK! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!
Question 808: Is Jason Vorhees behind me with a knife?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No, but Mario is.
Question 809: Will Freddy Kruger kill me in my sleep tonight?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes.
Question 810: Will I be on Tales From the Crypt
Do you like Horror Movies?
Do you like Horror Novels?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Man, you watch too many Horror movies.
Question 811: Answer the following in the form of a question.
a. 1,2, Freddy's comin' for you.
b. 3,4, better lock your door.
c. 5,6, grab your crucifix.
d. 7,8, gonna stay up late.
e. 9,10, never sleep again.
Dr. Donez's Answer: a. Why? b. What do you do when Mario is coming to dinner? c. What do you do when Mario eats beans. d. What? e. What you do all the time?
Question 812: Did you like that Dr. Dorknez?
Dr. Donez's Answer: NO! I HATE THE NICKNAME DORKNEZ!!!
Question 813: Whoops, you're Dr. Donez, aren't you?
Dr. Donez's Answer: YES!!! (Trys to stab this guy with his Ice Pick, but realizes that it's currently being used elsewhere).
Question 814: Do you have a twin/clone named Dr. dorknez with a flame pick?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No. I am clone free.
Question 815: Why is this Banana Monkey clinging to my forehead?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Did you feed it Bananna Bread?
Question 816: When will Jay ever update again?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Not if you keep bugging him.
Question 817: Ummm... Did I Kill You In SMB2? I Think I Did Sorry.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Appology accepted.
Question 818: Why is Fred The Spanyard the mascot of Neglected Characters?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Becausehe beat up everyone else for the job.
Question 819: And how do they put the almonds in Hershey Kisses with almonds?
Dr. Donez's Answer: They hire Chocolate cows to sneeze on them.
Question 820: Answer the following in the form of a question!
3. Grapefruit Extract
4. Banana Bread
5. Bill The Extra Guy
6. Fred the Spanyard
7. Jay Reesop
Dr. Donez's Answer: 1. Who rules above all? 2. Who's green? 3. What do you use to take over the world? 4. What tastes good with Grapefruit Extract? 5. Who extra? 6. Whose trigger happy with Deathrays? 7. Who is a loser? 8. Where do I live? 9. What site is currently on hiatus?
Question 821: How come if Atari is out of bussness they are still making t-shirts?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Apparently it is because of that reason I talked about earlier.
Question 822: Are you from Mars or the planet called FKDLFJLKkLJFldksfj;lakjfalkjfaklrjo8902809?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...neither.
Question 823: Can I be citris man just like my ideal, Mario??????
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, if you follow Truth, Justice, and the Citrus way, then no. No you can't.
Question 824: What will you give me if I give you 20 never before seen videos of The Smurfs?
Dr. Donez's Answer: 1 Million (Canadian) Dollars.
Question 825: Do you like Mega Man?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Mega Who?
Question 826: Are you STILL the second Tweeter in Super Mario Advance?
Dr. Donez's Answer: (Sigh) Sadly, yes. While Nintendo did change a few things in SMA, one thing they did not change is that I am still Tweeter #s. Its kinda sad, in a way.
Question 827: 1.How many Tweeters are there in SMB2?
Dr. Donez's Answer: A lot.
Question 828: 2.Why am I member number 6902?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Becase there are 6901 people with less of a life then you do.
Question 829: Where is the stupastupastupastupid bush, metionioned in question #755?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I burned it.
Question 830: Should i make a Dr.Donez Shrine?
Dr. Donez's Answer: That would rule. Make one or else.
Question 831: If Tim runs east with two apples, when does the train arrive with peaches?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I don't do math.
Question 832: How many donuts are in a dozen?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Eight by the time you get home.
Question 833: What exactly is a 'mojo'?
Dr. Donez's Answer: A command, as in "Mojo own lawn".
Question 834: Why are EWJ's eyes different in color and size?
Dr. Donez's Answer: 'Cause the chicks love it.
Question 835: HEY KIDS! Do you know what time it is?
Dr. Donez's Answer: The Sock. (Yes, I have played through all of the questions in Villa People many, many, many times. Although It's kinda sad that I remembered all of that.)
Question 836: When you take over the world, my friend wants Svalbard (claimed by Norway) Can he have it?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I already promised that to Dubya. Sorry.
Question 837: First auction - The soul of Paper Shy Guy 99.
Do you, Dr. Donez, bid for Paper Shy Guy 99's soul
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes, four dollars.
Question 838: Didn't we already kill Jay Resup?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Hey Fred! How are you doing?
Question 839: What is love?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sorry, but you'll have to buy my book if you want the answer to that one.
Question 840: Define "blarf."
Dr. Donez's Answer: Blarf is the stuff that I eat in the morning.
Question 841: Are you on the way to destruction you have no chance to survive make your time?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No.
Question 842: Why did you steal my socks?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I did not! I bet it was Tweeter #1!!!
Question 843: Are you really just a gerbil in disguise?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Of course not!
Question 844: I've got it! You, Dr. Dorknez, are really Blue Jay, right!?
Dr. Donez's Answer: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! STOP CALLING ME DORKNEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Question 845: Ah! I, Professor VanLandingham, am most upset!! I had forgotten the beatings you used to give me, Donez! ARGH! The painful memories come flooding back! I will have my revenge on you soon, Donez!! SOON!! EMPHASIS on the word SSSOOOOONNNN!!!!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...OK...
Question 846: Should we hang the annoying newbies by their toenails?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I know I would.
Question 847: Do you have a lot of work ahead of you?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Looks like it...
Question 848: Do you ever bathe?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No. (Sniff). Hm. Although I do need a bath.
Question 849: Why is my buttocks so cold right now?
Dr. Donez's Answer: 'Cause you're sitting in a vat of Sherbert Ice Cream, dummy. Gimme that Ice Cream!
Question 850: Can you take a look at this boil for me? It's really starting to gross me out!!!
Dr. Donez's Answer: (Gag) Sorry, but there's nothing I can do for you.
Question 851: You should soak your ice pick in water and make it rusty so you can get extra money by giving the people you injure tetinis shots! Isn't that a good idea!?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Thats a stupid idea. Stupid.
Question 852: If roses are red and violets are blue, then where's my other sock? Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Obviously not.
Question 853: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, I think so Brain, but what are we going to do with all of the hamsters?
Question 854: If i eat all the banana bread, and devide cheese by the square root of 384792887584, then where's Waldo?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Dead. You killed Waldo.
Question 855: Who's the coolest X-Hunter? ::draws his sword:: YOU BETTER SAY ME OR ELSE!!!
Dr. Donez's Answer: OK, Me.
Question 856: Where were you when you were born?
Dr. Donez's Answer: In the back of a dumpster.
Question 857: What is 4+5?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Anything besides 9.
Question 858: What is your father's name?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Mr. Donez. He never got his PhD, that idiot.
Question 859: Didn't you kill Mario?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Shhhh! Don't tell anyone!
Question 860: Then why is he in my house, and eating all of the food in my refrigerator?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Obviously it's Mario's fat and annoying ghost.
Question 861: Didn't you also kill Luigi, Toad, and Peach?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No, they helped me kill Mario.
Question 862: Is Kyle dead?
Dr. Donez's Answer: It sure seems like he is. Although when I talked to him last, he was getting ready for a big update.
Question 863: Why are spelling errors and grammar mistakes so common in this forum?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because it's the NC, or No Cpelling, Forum.
Question 864: My laser blew up, can I borrow yours?
Dr. Donez's Answer: NO! It's MY Laser! MINE MINE MINE!!! I mean, sure, go ahead. Have fun!
Question 865: In the event of an atomic explosion, would it be more logical to hide underground, or start up the turbo anti-physics shield?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Nonono, the best defence is to wait outside and stick your tounge out.
Question 866: Is my Newbie Finishing School a bad idea or a good idea?
Dr. Donez's Answer: What do I look like? A teacher?
Question 867: Will Dr. Donez appear in the Red Alarm RPG?
Dr. Donez's Answer: If you pay me, I will.
Question 868: What would you do for a Klondike bar?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I would club out upside the head and steal yours.
Question 869: How long have you been a member of the Communist Party?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Why, I have been a member for three...I mean...I don't know what you're talking about. Heh...Heh...
Question 870: If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, Jimmy doesn't crack corn to get attencion, he does it because its so much fun to do!
Question 871: Do the Japanese customs officials also check laptop computers for pornography?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes. But don't aske me how I know.
Question 872: Did you know Hitler was into a sado-masochistic sexual lifestyle?
Dr. Donez's Answer: He also killed a lot of people, what's your point?
Question 873: If wearing a Roc's feather allows for jumping power, what happens if I wear one of your feathers?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You fart a lot.
Question 874: Look! I wrote the Donez rap!
Zooba zooba chiky, boom boom mashookana, shookana! Donez...Zibba boom bickety poo...DONEZ! WOAH! OH OH!! Blipy blipy wee wee! Shugga! Donez be PHAT! Yo'! Ziggy gee whiz! He-yuck yadadada! Shooby nine fever, that's what it for! UGH! DONEEEEEZ!!! BIPPITY BEE BOP BOO BAM! Oweeee!
What do you think!???
Dr. Donez's Answer: I is with it.
Question 875: Billy and his Dad, Mr. Wilson were driving in a car, when an accident acoured.Mr. Wilson was killed, while Billy was rushed to the hospital. The doctor took one look at him and said, "I can't operate on him! He's my son, Billy!" Who is the doctor?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I was that Doctor! My boy! My poor, poor son! Wait, that wasn't me...that was the boy's mother, duh!
Question 876: My mouse Jelly likes to rome, one day Jelly, he left home, he came back quite unclean, where on Earth has Jelly Bean?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I ate him.
Question 877: Why isn't my nuclear bomb working? I put in all the ingredients, and I detonated it, but is still hasn't blown up Mario's house yet.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Abviously you didn't say the secret word.
Question 878: Why is Crono dancing on my table wearing a dress?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Beats me, I've never been in an RPG.
Question 879: Do you think Magus will mind if I borrow his clothes to make a robotic cat?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I think you can count on that.
Question 880: Why are you such a selfish shmuck?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I am not selfish! Wait, yes I am. Well then, I blame my parents for that.
Question 881: How would you like it if I beat your head in and used my sword to dice yoru remains?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No, I wouldn't mind at all, so long as I can do it to you first.
Question 882: Why is Mega Man's Soccer so screwed?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Becase it was originally Mega Man Screwed, but the title was changed.
Question 883: Why is Area 6 in Blaster Master so glitched while the other levels aren't?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I ate it.
Question 884: Where's Fred in Kirby's Adventure?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I don't know if Fred is actually in Kirby's Adventure. He either has a really small part, or was cut at the last moment.
Question 885: Why do you have $500 dollars sticking out of your pocket?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Just a bribe.
Question 886: Ooohh! Can I have that $500?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No! It's my bribe! Get your own bribe!
Question 887: Why is the zombie named 'Rob'?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because it would be stupid to have a zombie named Tina.
Question 888: Is this topic dead?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I hope not, because if it is, Jay will send me to the Glue Factory.
Question 889: Wait wait wait... when you say "just plain stupid" is that just like "Who's I???" or "////gakngfhg?" or does it include questions that are funny like "Mario came over to my house, ate all the food, and I can't get him out! What should I do"?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Maybe I should have been more clear. Basically a question is stupid if I deem it to be stupid. Questions like "Who I?" or "////gakngfhg?" are good examples of those questions. But don't feel limited by those rules Jay made. He's just crazy.
Question 890: Why is Jays user name "Perrin Aybara" and not Jay Resup?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Beat's me. I'm guessing he's loco. But if you read that topic about user names, Jay says that he got the name Perrin Aybara from some book.
Question 891: Why did Jinn correct you?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Obviously he doesn't fear the rath of Jay.
Question 892: What is under your mask?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, my eyes, my nose, my mouth, and three bags of Quacker's Outmeal.
Question 893: Why did King Lemming possess me?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because King Lemming possesses a power unknown to other Lemmings called the "Yangz". Using the "Yangz" he is able to penatrate the minds of simple humans and makes them their slaves. People who eat Gummi Worms are easier targets.
Question 894: How come Jay STILL won't play those games I reccomended to him?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Hold on, let me go beat the crap out of him for you. (Runs off. Comes back 10 minutes later with blood on his Ice Pick.) In Jay's defence he says he has played those games you recommended a bit. Personally I wouldn't believe him.
Question 895: Luigi is in my house, he came out of my potty but is stuck. What should I do? He keeps knocking away the plunger.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, the best way to get rid of a Luigi is to paint your entire house red and yell, "It's-a-me! Mario!"
Question 895: But if Mario's stuck behind him, gurgling, yelling "It's-a-me, a-mario!"? Hey, the bubbles stopped!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Problem solved.
Question 896: Why is Luigi stuck in LVK's pot?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Maybe this is proof that he's a bad plumber.
Question 897: Why am i asking questions when I have better stuff to do?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because this is the best thing to do.
Question 898: Why does E=MC2?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, if you want to get technical, E=MC^2. But in this case, One Eevee does not equal a Mario times Cactaur squared.
Question 899: Why am I not playing Nintedo?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because your asking questions.
Question 900: when i turnerd on my kichen sink marios head came out and hes clogging the drain and luigis stuck im my t.v saying im-a-luigi.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Wait...that's not even a question...
Go back to NC