Bombette's speeches site

(10/25/04) :

Bombette: Lately, I have been accused of, among other things, being a good guy, being a girl, and blowing up too much.
1. I am not a good guy. Remember where I was when I met Mario? That's right, I was in jail. I'm a hardened murderess, and I vow to use those skills on Mario next. I only stayed with Mario for a while because it served my own purposes.
2. I am a girl. So what? Remember Marie Antoinette? Well, she sucked as a ruler, but I won't!
3. People are painting a doomsday scenario in which I blow up the entire world. I won't. I'll blow up Mario and his little dog... er, Yoshi... too!

Petey Piranha: I can't believe I even have to explain why not to vote for him! Like anybody would elect a stupid plant! Well, voters are stupid, so that's why I'm here: To take advantage o- I mean, help them... Don't vote for him. He steals candy from babies.

Waluigi: Um, he wears purple. It's like those bright marks on poison arrow frogs: It's a clear sign to stay away.

Bowser: He's a wuss. I mean, Mario could beat him, and I know first-hand what a wuss Mario is.

King Boo: He puts up a lot of talk, but he's afraid to look Mario in the face. Would you trust him to keep Mario at bay? I wouldn't.

King Lemming: This guy is on Mario's side. He tried to stop the Mario Busters. Why? Because he has ties to the Italian mafia, and Mario is the godfather. He's afraid to even think about touching Mario. King Lemming? Mo' like King Stupid!

Fawful: He's not even trying to run yet. So, I won't even try to discredit him yet. But he does listen to Michael Jackson records with an intense enjoyment.

Dr. Crackle: He's a doctor. So, if you're sick and he's president, you'll die a slow agonizing death while Dr. Crackle will always be "too busy to see you". Meanwhile, I'm going to be making a fortune by selling bumper stickers that say "Don't blame me: I voted for Bombette."