Birdo's speeches site
(9/20/04) The first Birdo Interview (Taped Earlier):
Chris Leonhart: Greetings fellow NC fans! We're here with the Subconian candidate, Birdo. Welcome.
Birdo: Nice to be here.
Chris: So tell us, Birdo, what do you plan to do for your fellow NCs?
Birdo: Well, first of all, I've been working a lot on my aim, so I'll definately be shooting Mario with a lot more eggs.
Chris: Yes, I think we all-
Birdo: And then, I'll shoot Jay, too, and try to get him to update more often. ...And also for that embarassingly pathetic Deathmatch.*
Chris: That's nice, but-
Birdo: And if I don't get voted for, I'll egg YOU! And everyone else, until they vote for me! *Starts shooting eggs at everyone*
Chris: Uh...that's all the time we have, seeyah! *Promptly exits, before getting shot by an egg by Birdo*
Birdo: Yes! Eggs will be fired at everyone, until I'm the NC President! Nyahahahahaaa! *Fires an egg at the camera, image goes static*
Vote Birdo, or get shot with an egg.
(9/25/04) Birdo Press Conference #1:
Orland: Greetings NC fans! I'm Lyle Orland!
Poser: Woo! Deathm- ...sorry. And I'm John Poser II. And we're here at the first press conference for Birdo, a Subconian candidate with certainly, a whole lotta spunk.
Orland: Right you are. Let us hope that this doesn't end up like her first interview, where most attended found themselves covered in egg.
Poser: Wait a minute...it appears the conference's about to start...!
~The crowd hushes to a silence. Birdo then enters from the right, taking place at the podium.~
Birdo: *Ahem* Greetings, fellow Neglected characters, and thank you for joining me in this press conference. Firstly, I'd like to give a public apology for the my last appearance. I...wasn't exactly feeling myself at the time. Don't get me wrong, though. I will egg all those who don't vote for me. Now, although most would talk a bit about themselves, I'd like to go ahead and cover some key topics in the debate.
Birdo: First, the lack of updates here at NC. This is one of the foremost, and perhaps, key issues regarding all of us at the time. We all know Jay has a life outside of NC, and we all must accept that. However, we all know weekends are key opportunities for doing humorous stuff like this, so I, or someone under my power, at least, will ensure that Jay devotes some of his time on weekends for NC updates.
Birdo: Secondly, Mario. The biggest problem we have, aside from the lack of updates. He has been known to harass every neglected character he knows, friend and foe alike. Moreover, he seems to be completely invulnerable to everything thrown at him; the most damage ever done to him is his switching from his normal self, to that of his alterego, and fellow candidate, Citrus Man. And although I have nothing against any of my fellow candidates, as a safety precaution, I am planning on having constructed, a specially designed containment cell, which shall be used to encase Mario, and prevent him from harassing any of us ever again.
Birdo: Well, I feel that covers most of the major issues, so at this time, I will be answering any questions. *Orland raises his hand* Yes?
Orland: What do you plan to do about the Moronitis crisis?
Birdo: ...Before I answer that, do you ALWAYS have to ask the same questions over and over?
Orland: No! Of course not! ...Yes.
Birdo: *Sighs* ...Anyway, about the crisis, two words: mental programming. Each "moron" shall be subjected to a hypnotic suggestion that will eventually cure him or her from their moronitis. Here's an example... *Sets up a projector*
Birdo: The idea centers around the idea of that, if one has a thought placed into their head during sleep, the idea will remain in their head as they awake, thereby curing them of there problem. Just watch. *Starts the projector; a man is sleeping, wearing headphones with a fish on his head*
Record: "I will not use tuna fish as a hat. I will not use tuna fish as a hat."
Man (In his sleep): I will not use tuna fish as a hat... *The scene changes to the man waking up, taking off the headphones*
Man: ...Why do I have tuna fish on my head? *Throws it away and leaves. Projector kicks off*
Birdo: I believe that video speaks for itself. Do we have any more questions? *Poser is next to raise his hand* Yes?
Poser: ...Since we know it's coming next, how would you feel if our current president, Bill, is re-elected for a second term?
Birdo: I have nothing against him, after all, we worked together during every release of Super Mario 2, but I feel that Bill the Extra Guy made one fatal mistake in his run as president...he did absolutely nothing. And yes, I know most presidents don't do anything, but he didn't even make OTHERS do anything for him, and that's where his flaw was. If elected, I plan on doing, or at least having others under my power, do the stuff I plan on getting done under my term.
Birdo: Anyone else? * A hand was raised, although it didn't look right* ...Yes, random Goomba?
Goomba: What of the rumors you're really a guy pretending to be a girl?
Birdo: COMPLETELY UNTRUE! THAT WAS JUST A RUMOR SPREAD BY NINTENDO TO MAKE ME LOOK BAD!! *Shoots an egg at the Goomba* ...No more questions. *Storms off*
Orland: ...Well, that was unexpected.
Poser: Not really. This was bound to come up, due to the old SMB2 manual.
Orland: Well, since this is done, I'm Lyle Orland.
Poser: And I'm John Poser II. See you next Deathmatch! ...Er, whenever.