Ask Dr. Donez!



Question 1: Why doesn't Link or all the people in the Zelda world have a last name but Mario and Luigi do?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, you see, its all because Nintendo is dumb. Plus the only place where the Mario Bros. actually have a last name is in the stupid movie, so I wouldn't even count that. Maybe Link doesn't have a last name.

Question 2: Who do you think looks prettier, Daisy or Peach?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Hey, I'm a tweeter! Human's aren't my taste.

Question 3: Why is your weapon an Ice Pick?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because it rules! I mean, come on, who wouldn't want to use an Ice Pick for a weapon??? Anyone? Ah, nevermind.

Question 4: R U a phycho?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes, I am, actually. I got my degree in Phychology in '83.

Question 5: What is your name?
Dr. Donez's Answer: My name is Dr. Donez!

Question 6: What is your quest?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I seek to answer your questions!

Question 7: What is your favorite color?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Blue! No! Yelloooooooo!

Question 8: Why doesn't the glue stick on the inside of the bottle?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because the inside of bottles are coated with "Anti-Glue" magic. That, and I'm sure glue needs air to work.

Question 9: When will aliens invade our planet?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yesterday.

Question 10: Why can't animals talk?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, I know that I can talk, so the question should be, "Why don't you know any animals that DO talk?"

Question 11: Why is my sister an idiot?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Girls are weird. You'll understand more in a few years. Like when you're 100.

Question 12: Why does Jay hate Pokemon?
Dr. Donez's Answer: A Pokemon killed his father. Well, not really. But he doesn't like the game anyway.

Question 13: Do you take piano lessons?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Nah, but I'm one heck of a harmonica player.

Question 14: When will the dinasaurs come back?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yesterday. They came with the aliens.

Question 15: Why is the third hand on a clock called the second hand?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because it points to the seconds? Is this a trick question?

Question 16: Why am I insane?
Dr. Donez's Answer: 'Cause not all your dogs are barking?

Question 17: Why do I ask so many questions?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because you suffer from "Questionitus". The only cure is to hit yourself in the head with a watermelon every day for the rest of your life.

Question 18: Why is it when someone says your name it goes to a close up of you?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I think I answered this before, but it's because of some desease I have. Go look up the real answer.

Question 19: Why does the Ten O'Clock news come on at 9:59?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Day light savings time.

Question 20: If Mr.Jones has negative 5 puppies and Billy Bob has 5 puppies how many do they have in all???
Dr. Donez's Answer: Wait a minute...Billy Bob doesn't have any puppies! I already bought all of this puppies!

Question 21: Hello, I am, A. GENIUS, and I couldn't help but notice that you said that you made the dehungrifier in your lab, I just thought you'd like to know that, THAT WAS MY INVENTION! I NOW KNOW WHO STOLE IT! HOW DARE YOU DR. DONEZ! AND I TOLD THE SMURFS NOT TO UNITE WITH YOU WHEN YOU CAME TO LEAD THEM IN A SMURF REVOLUTION ON MAY 14 2005! wHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT? WHY? WHY? WHY? By the way, 1+Mario=Kirby, since Kirby is 1 step above Mario you idiot.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...ok...calm down a bit there, fella. I, the great Dr. Donez, am not a stealer. Crazy, yes. Thief, no. No back to your hole.

Question 22: Who is the most neglected Nintendo character?
Dr. Donez's Answer: It depends on who you ask. If you ask me (hence the name of this section), I would have to say, myself, Dr. Donez!

Question 23: How about the least?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Mario. Come on, he's their mascot for crying out loud.

Question 24: Or the grooviest?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, Wart can be pretty groovy. But the grooviest is Donkey Kong.

Question 25: Is it possible that (taking Dr. Meskaleskalana's formula of problematic atomic protoplasms into consideration, of course) that it is possible that I can find a formula to create a biochlorinic atom using five Pikachu Edition N64s?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sure, and if you combine them with three molecules of "Pokemon Snap", you get a chemical more powerful then TNT.

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