Ask Dr. Donez!



Question 251: Why is it that you drive in parkways but park in driveways. And why do you call it shipment when delivered by car and cargo when delivered by ship. And for that matter, why are there Interstate highways in Hawaii?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You need to get out more.

Question 252: How many donuts can a cop eat?,and do have a dollar?
Dr. Donez's Answer: A typical cop and munch down a dosen donuts. The typical Dr. Donez can eat two donez. And no, I don't have a dollar!

Question 253: Hey Dr. Donez, long time no see. You may remember me as Bass or Andy perhaps? Well, do you remember me?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No and no. Next!

Question 254: Q: Do you watch Invader Zim?
Dr. Donez's Answer: A: Grapefruit Extract.

Question 255: Have you ever guest starred on "Family Guy," or "The Simpsons?"
Dr. Donez's Answer: I was once on the Simpsons. I played Dr. Nick's college roomate. I didn't have any lines, luckily.

Question 256: Why is a sandwhich talking to me every time I open the frige?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You're halucinating. Smack yourself in the face and try again.

Question 257: Anyway, now for the question I am in need of an answer for; Who is this Waluigi I've heard and seen at Nintendo's official site? First there's Wario, now a Waluigi? Please get back to me as soon as you can. Thank you very much.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Waluigi is Wario after plastic sergery.

Question 258: So, Dr.Donez, Have you ever noticed that "Donez" sounds like "Donut". I mean, just change the "e" to a "u" and the "z" to a "t", and you have a donut. I was just wondering, are you related to a donut or something? Or are you really a donut in disguise!? That has come to take over the world!? AHHHHHHHHH! We're all doomed!
Dr. Donez's Answer: So I eat a lot of donuts...sue me.

Question 259: Why does my ear hurt???
Dr. Donez's Answer: Take your finger out of it.

Question 260: GRAANHJKHSDGJHSGFDDCGHKDTYIFRNLKNKSKAMNKL"ANKNDDAA:FHJKGF?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sure.

Question 261: A few questions from the Jackal Lord. Are you related to Dr. Demento? Can I have a taco? Will Citrus Man be cloned by Bob the Bartender? (I'm thinking about it) Why did I have a dream about you being a playable character in Super Mario Advance?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because I am a playable character in SMA. I'm the one in the Mario costume.

Question 262: Am I going to kill you in my comix? WILL JAY ACTUALLY USE THEM? Why is my spleen on your desk? What was my real name again? I forgot.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sorry, but no, no, I don't know and Bob.

Question 263: Which is more neglected: Yoshi, Boshi, Baby Yoshi, Red Yoshi, Red Yoshi 2, Red Yoshi 3, Grampa Yoshi, Yoshi that's still in an egg, Yoshi that's still in an egg 2 or okay I'll shut up now...
Dr. Donez's Answer: E: Dr. Donez.

Question 264: Do you ever visit SMBHQ?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Nah, that place stinks.

Question 265: Did Mario ever pick you up and throw you at a veggie in SMB2 or did you kill him first?
Dr. Donez's Answer: If I'm quick, I can kill him first...

Question 266: Why does Mario always come back to life three or four times after he dies?
Dr. Donez's Answer: He's stupid.

Question 267: Why does Waluigi have an upside-down "L" on his hat? Or is it a character in his wierd Waluigiocoraniusoptinianite language?
Dr. Donez's Answer: L stands for "Long-legged" in Japanese.

Question 268: What do Bill Clinton, Mario, Jay Respo and Mr. Burns have in common? (Don't ask me I'm stumped)
Dr. Donez's Answer: They are all smarter then a chimp. Just barely, though.

Question 269: In Question #179, how come you both misspelled spleen?
Dr. Donez's Answer: It's the cool way to spell it.

Question 270: If Jay told you about that dream I had about how you got cloned, I am beginning to have more of them, getting stranger and stranger....(Last night, I had one about Samus after seeing you cloned, came in and accidentily, a clone with a mixed DNA of you and Samus. Imagine you with a Plasma Charge Beam! All them annoying folk down at NC would be no problem! And then, Samus ran away, and Link came in. That's where it ended...so far....)
Dr. Donez's Answer: You need to drink more milk.

Question 271: Why is the ice pick so amazingly insanly awesomely extremely wonderfully fantastically brilliantly terrifically (x5) cool?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because it's the Ice Pick.

Question 272: Hello! My I.Q. is negative five billion! What's yours?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Five billion plus one.

Question 273: I had a nail-biting problem, so I started eating dog biscuits to help me quit. But then they stopped making my favorite type, so I started eating paperted eating dog biscuits to help me quir. But now I'm getting lots of paprted eating dog biscuits to help me quier cuts. What should I do?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Run around in circles.

Question 274: Dr. Donez, have you seen X-E's article on a Super Mario Brothers Super Show article? Beware that there are some pretty bad words in it, but it's great. It also covers the live-action segments of the show where Dr. Sigmund Fruitcake makes an appearance and Mario and Luigi dress up like girls. It's very funny.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Nah, sorry, but I missed it.

Question 275: Dear Donez,What's your favorite SMB3 power-up?
Dr. Donez's Answer: The power up where Mario DIES.

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