Ask Dr. Donez!



Question 401: Does e-mail really smell funny.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Only if you leave it out in the sun too long.

Question 402: Do you watch Super Mario World?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Dude, the show is off the air, now. So yes, yes I do.

Question 403: What's your favorite food?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Stupid questions. They sure fill you up.

Question 404: Can Fred fly?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Only if you strap a lot of TNT to his chest and light a match.

Question 405: How about you? Maybe Bill?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I can only fly when I feel like it. And Bill, well, Bill cheats.

Question 406: If a tomato is a fruit, what does that make ketchup?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Fruit paste. Mmm...fruit paste.

Question 407: What would you do If I kidnapped you? What would you do if I kidnapped myself? Perfect crime, huh?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um. Nice job, you ecoweenie.

Question 408: Dr.D, why is Mario right behind you with a knife again?
Dr. Donez's Answer: He obviously got past my guards.

Question 409: If you had only 1 more day to live, what would you do?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Invent a time machine, so I can live longer.

Question 410: How do you make chocolate covered sardines with peanut butter and mayonnaise and rice with peas and walnuts with roasted pork skin and corn syrup with olive oil and some salt and broccoli? Do you like?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Urp. (Runs).

Question 411: Are you mad that Fred the Spanyard and Bill the Extra Guy appeared in SSBM on the Gamecube before you did?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes! Yes I am! Very, very mad! Very mad! Very...wait, I forgot what I was mad about. Nevermind.

Question 412: Do you have the following symptoms: dizziness, nausea, bloated head, fatigue, indigestion, red-and-black patterns flash behind your head, loss of reality, feelings of chivalry, or the tendancy to yell "AWESOME"?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Nope. Now stop stalking me!

Question 413: Why is it every time you mention one of your books, the price goes up? And would you like your own game?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Inflation. That, and I need the money to finance my quest for world domination.

Question 414: Hey Donez,do you think all these questions were made by people who have mental problems and don't know all the history about Mario?
Dr. Donez's Answer: yes. Yes I do. And that includes you.

Question 415: Good News Dr Donez I have saved you from your prison in SSB2 and have beaten the second tweeter senseless and showered gifts all over you. Wait you are the first tweeter? Right?
Dr. Donez's Answer: (Owee). I am the SECOND tweeter, you IDIOT! (Passes out).

Question 416: What's your favorite Monty Python movie?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Monty Python and the Holy Sock.

Question 417: WHY DOES EVERYONE LIKE POKEMON?!?!?!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Beats me. It's probably because of something Executrain is doing to take over the world. I must stop him. (Runs off).

Question 418: How come Tweeters can't fly? (You should know this one)
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because we don't feel like it.

Question 419: How can I kill Mario? And where does he keep all his gold? (Note: I had nothing to do with that last question. Some freaky guy in yellow clubbed me unconscious and wrote that!)
Dr. Donez's Answer: What??? You asked two questions!?!?!? Begone!

Question 420: Why are you rude?-same guy who asked about Jay's neglected characters and Mario.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because they don't pay me enough over here.

Question 421: Hey, Donez, why do you fear the Philip's Screwdriver? It's just a frickin' screwdriver, for Pete's sake. (Pete is a Jelectro in my deathmatch, Deathmatch #4: Jelectro VS. Blooper) Who's this Phillip dude, anyway? I have several dozen of said screwdrivers in my basement....Wait a second, is it just me, or is your name 'dozen' with the 'n' and the 'z' switched....and isn't N-Z a bad guy in Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards? Also, not to get off topic, but how come Tweeters haven't appeared in a video game since Super Mario Bros. 2? Not to mention Bugzzys (like Fred), since Kirby's Adventure. And, speaking of Kirby, I had him copy Citrus Man in my deathmatch (Deathmatch #15, Dr. Mario VS. Mario VS. Citrus Man) and created Citrus Marshmallow; is this copyright infringement or something? And, furthermore, I....::Donez snores::....Oh, sorry. I must be boring you, like that guy in Airplane! Ever see that? Anyway I'll shut up now. Don't bother to answer my questions, I'll force Jay to do it. Thanks.
Dr. Donez's Answer: It may be just a simple Philip's Screwdriver, but it is powered by Executrain's Bad Evil. Which is no good.

Question 422: Why do you hate Mario?I mean,HE IS THE GREATEST MASCOT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!Why does everyone want to kill Mario?He should get respect!!!Mario is my favorite character,AND EVERYONE WANTS TO KILL HIM?!!!He should be the most neglected character!!!!!!!!!PLEASE,FOR THE LOVE OF GOD,STOP WANTING TO KILL HIM!!!Whoever wants to kill Mario,DIES AND GOES TO HELL AND STAY THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think you want to kill him so WHY DON'T YOU DIE FOR HATING HIM!!!!!!He's been hated in every site I go to!He's lost allot of battles here,Nintendoland,The super smash stadium,EVERY SITE I GO TO!!!!!!!!!! WHY DO YOU HATE HIM?! WHY DO YOU NEVER DIE?!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Mario hurts me. A lot.

Question 423: Hey Dr. D, In one of the more recent NC Comix, Kyle left SMBHQ; Did this REALLY happen, or was it just for the comic? And what on earth did Superman have to do with it? That was pointless, unless Kyle's a Superman Fan.
Dr. Donez's Answer: It's all a big cover up. If you want to know more, meet me behind the building at 3. Come alone.

Question 424: Hi, I have the title deed for the world, Yea I kind of own the world. Do you want it?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Pft. Not if it's used.

Question 425: Why doesn't Dot from Animaniacs want to be called "Dotty"?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because. Um. Go watch the WB. What are you at NC for?

Question 426: Do you think the Power Puff Girls are future anime super babes?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Not really...no...

Question 427: Blossom once freezed the entire city of Townsville into ice cubes. Bubbles once pummeled people for parking illegally and littering. Buttercup nearly totalled Professor Utonium's house trying to destroy a single cockroach. All three turned Townsville into smoltering rubble with the "Powerpuff Dynamo". If they appeared in Jay's comic in their GBC game sprites, would they blow up the world?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Man, you're obsessed with the PPG, arn't you?

Question 428: What's your favorite type of Metroid from Metroid 2: The Return of Samus?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Smelly Metroid.

Question 429: Ever notice that Goofy is the only Fab five character without a girlfriend!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Poor Goofy. He needs Dr. Donez's Book of Love, now only $1200.99!

Question 430: Hey,I looked VEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY closely at the picture(Dr.Donez hard at work...ahem,'ahem') in the NC base,and you look like an evil chick.And also,whats the secret of the ice pick(Prof.Exteraning uses a screwdriver)anyway.Tell me NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!(ok,Im a little hyper,so what the heck).
Dr. Donez's Answer: An evil chick? You need to get out more.

Question 431: Who is Skippy, the Beer Drinking Dog from the West?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No comment. Really. No comment at all. This doesn't count. Or this. Or this. Or this. Or this. Or this. Or this. I'm going to stop now. Night night.

Question 432: Hey, Dr.D, when will the sequial for Bill and Fred's Medi-ocre Adventure come up? Because if it doesn't come up soon, my friend is going to send his version and it aisn't going to be pretty.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Probably after Jay finishes both the NC/SSS crossover and Mario Busters. He's only one man, you know.

Question 433: Guess who I am. (Hint: o0fireball0o.)
Dr. Donez's Answer: Are you Al Gore?
Bill: Donez, that's MY line.
Dr. Donez: Get your own section, Bill.
Bill: I do, it's called Bill's Presidential Page.
Donez: (Sigh) Then go THERE, then.
Bill: I don't want to. Hehe.
Donez: Sigh...

Question 434: Remember me? I asked lots of questions before...I was the one that asked how to get Mario out of my house a few times, because he ate all my food and was stuck in the door. Oh, and there are a few fan pics from me.
Dr. Donez's Answer: No.

Question 435: Ok recap to Question 716: "Can I borrow some money? How about $387,128,374,182,738,947,873,821.01? Dr. Donez's Answer: I'll give you this 1 cent now, and the rest (runs)." So when are you going to give me the rest of the 387,128,374,182,738,947,873,821 dollars I asked for??
Dr. Donez's Answer: Later. (runs).

Question 436: Can I call you Dr.Donut?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Never. Or you will suffer.

Question 437: Uhhh....why is my cat licking the TV? It's scaring me.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Did you recently wash your TV with cat food?

Question 438: Why is Jay Respo running around yelling "I AM A BUNNIE! BWAHAHAHAHA! OBEY ME MORTALS! TOGETHER I AND THE BUNNIES SHALL TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE AND DEFEAT THE $100,000 PYRAMID!!! WAHAHAHA"?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Why not?

Question 439: AHH! WHO IS THAT?! *points behind you and then runs away*
Dr. Donez's Answer: That's just...wait a minute...I know you! You're that guy who owes me money! Get back here!

Question 440: What has more power? Me, your ice pick, or Al Gore?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Obviously the Ice Pick. It can cut an apple and still be sharp enough to cut a steel 2 by 4.

Question 441: Is Captain Churro ur freind? If not can I blow up my house?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No...I try to avoid Churro at all cost. And no, blowing up your house is probably not a good idea. Why I bothered telling you, I have no idea.

Question 442: Dr. Donez, do you know how long ago the Macarena was popular? Do you or any other charactets dance the Macarena?? Could this dance take over the world???
Dr. Donez's Answer: The answer to all three questions is I don't care.

Question 443: What would you get if you crossed Mario, Luigi, Wario, Waluigi, Bill, Fred, Peach, Toad, Bowser, Smithy, Kamek, Tatanga, Gooba and yourself?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Jay Resop. Really. How else do you think he was made?

Question 444: I found the Wind Pick You should see it. Know if I gather the Fire Pick the Elec. Pick and the Ice Pick can I create the Pick of Crystalis? or do I still nee the Earth Pick?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Play less RPGs.

Question 445: What is the secret to your knowledge?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Cleaning my ears every day.

Question 446: Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?
Dr. Donez's Answer: (Sniff). Smells like burnt eggplant.

Question 447: When is Dr. Donez 64 coming out?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Right after Dr. Donez Sunshine

Question 448: Are you going to buy the Super Ice Pick when that comes out?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...the Super Ice Pick will never exist because the current Ice Pick is already Super.

Question 449: What is the Matrix?
Dr. Donez's Answer: A three-dimentional set of numbers.

Question 450: Will Pikachu ever die?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Probably not. (Sigh).

Question 451: Where can I find your book called Dr. Donez's Book of Love?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You can look on my website.

Question 452: If Suzie has 3 apples and Timmy has 5, why don't they both just shut up and eat?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because Suzie has all 3 apples in her mouth, making it impossible for her to chew. And Timmy doesn't have a mouth.

Question 453: Dr. donez, i am a genius and i have made a bomb better than a nuclear missile but smaller than a playstation2 memory card programmed to play smash mouths song all star untill it is ready to blow headed for afganistan. entertainment and death for them. what d ya think?
Dr. Donez's Answer: (Snore). What again?

Question 454: Is it true you live in a pineapple under the sea?
Dr. Donez's Answer: ...Go away...

Question 455: Does Bill really cheat at flying?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, he does use a carpet. Have you ever seen him fly without it?

Question 456: What happens when you take off your mask?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You don't want to know.

Question 457: Dr.Donez. Does it bother you that people call Super Mario Bros. 2 Super Mario Advance?(I know there is a game called Super Mario Advance based on the same thing.)
Dr. Donez's Answer: Nah not really. What bothers me is when people pick me up and throw me at things.

Question 458: Why is there only 1 picture of Zadock The Huntmaster in Mario busters part 10????
Dr. Donez's Answer: Zadok is very shy. OK, maybe that's a lie.

Question 459: If Bill and Fred saw that Kefka, Gygas, Marx, Dedede, Bowser, Melbu Frahma, Sephiroth, Lavos, Death Evan, and all the other bad guys from video games had been revived and are helping Professor Excutrain control the world, what would Bill and Fred do, and what would happen if you found out?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Bill and Fred would probably go play some video games. And if I found out, then I would try to take control over the world from Executrain and Co.

Question 460: What is the difference other than the spelling of their names between Jay Resop, Jay Resup, Jay Respo, and Jay Reesop?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Not much, really. Jay isn't that creative.

Question 461: What would you do if I had a weapon knwn as the Snow Shovel which was stronger than the Ice Pick?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Fight dirty.

Question 462: When are you going to finish mario busters. When is the next death match. When is mario is getting maried? Sorry don't know how to spell it.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Mario Busters will be finished when it's finished. The next deathmatch has not been determined. And only God knows when Mario is getting married.

Question 463: Hey, I'm a kid named Cyros from the Bob and George: The Comic Strip message boards, and I need you help! I was accidentally godmoding and spamming ont he boards, and these guys called Swordguy, White Dragon Nall, Golbez, and Entrail began harassing me. They even made avatars making me look stupid! Not even the moderators would help (except Death, she helped). When I asked Ran for help, he was mean to me too, so I left the boards, saying I was gone FOREVER! But now I can go back, but I'm worried about Swordguy and those guys. So, I ask you, will you come with me and get reveneg on them? Use anything you can to make them feel pain,a nd make Ran die +1,000,000 times! Will you please help me!!!!!????? I'll give you a lifetime supply of corn and the country of New Zeland! Oh, and don't drink Doppler Cola while we're there: it has paint thinner in it. Thanks if you can help!!!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...OK. I don't really know how I can help. I'm just a tweeter afterall.

Question 464: Dr. Donez, do you know of a way to get into Subcon other than sleeping and using a tapestry from King's Quest VII?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You can hit yourself over the head with a hammer.

Question 465: If 2 Marios cross the road with IQs of 485 while eating Oreos, what will my Forum Name become?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Wait a minute...Marios can't have an IQ of 485. It's a trick question!

Question 466: I think someone at NC should make a hack of smb2 with dr.donez, bill, fred, and stanley. you could have new levels, new enemies, a new title screen, a new title(Mario busters:lost Luigi).
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, if Jay ever figures out how to do so, I'm sure he'll just be too lazy to make it anyway.

Question 467: Uh, why would you steal Jay Reesop's shoe? Does it smell good, or are you just nuts?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Hey, do I pry into YOUR personal life? I do? Well then. For your information...well, actually, I'm just nuts. Now GO AWAY!

Question 468: Do u know about games like soulblazer and lengend of gaia?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Er. Well, I know EVERYTHING. So yes.

Question 469: My sister and me think you are SOOO cool. Do you have a girlfriend? There are TWO of us.....
Dr. Donez's Answer: Hold on, I think the only way to express my answer is through an emoticon. =O =O =O =O Wow. Er, well, no, I don't have a girlfriend. Wow, 2 of you? Bill and Fred are going to be jealous when they read this one. Well, there is only one of me (until I clone myself). I'm sure you'd both be better off with guys your own age and species.

Question 470: How do you get the swelling down on peanut butter?
Dr. Donez's Answer: (I'll just go with a classic). Grapefruit extract.

Question 471: Dear Dr. Donez, when will new comix be made in the series that are not finished?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Thats sort of a question... I guess. And the answer is sure.

Question 472: Does Jay realize he has permission to use Bob the Bartender cuz I'm too lazy to make comix?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, the problem is that Jay is lazy too. Probably lazier then you are.

Question 473: Why doesnt George just watch out for that tree?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Slow reation. Or maybe the answer is all of the above.

Question 474: Hey Dr.D, You Want my bacon? Well, I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T WANT IT! YOU WILL TKE IT AND YOU WILL EAT IT!!!!!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Er. No.

Question 475: Dr.D, WHY IS SOMEONE IN THE KITCHIN WITH DINIA? P.s, I am Fridgy
Dr. Donez's Answer: Good for you, Fridgy.

Question 476: Dr.d, WHY IS JELLO SO POWERFUL? WHY? WWWWWWHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY????? P.s. I Am Fridgy
Dr. Donez's Answer: I guess you have never witnessed the True Power of Jello. Try the Cherry flavour. It's great.

Question 477: Dr.D, I HATE Executrain! And I Want To KILL Mario! Can You Help Me Defeat Them, All mighty (and Super COLL) Dr.D? P.s. this is Fridgy
Dr. Donez's Answer: No, I'm trying to do that myself, thank you very much. You'd just get in the way.

Question 478: Who is Eric Cartman's father?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I hate this job.

Question 479: Who shot Mephesto?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I really hate this job.

Question 480: Who will they kill next?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Hopefully me.

Question 481: Who will the director cast first?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Whoever isn't last.

Question 482: Who framed Roger Rabbit?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sideshow Bob. Wait, wrong cartoon.

Question 483: Isn't Jay Resup dead? Do you like strechy stuff? Will jay ever see my comix I sent him? Did you know in my other comic you're an annoying narrator that apears at ch. 6 yet blabs trhough the whole ting with this kind of color?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Too many questions. The answer to all of them is yes.

Question 484: Dr.D, why do strawberries hurt?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Stop sticking them up your nose.

Question 485: What is your favorite Grand Theft Auto game? Mine is GTA Vice City
Dr. Donez's Answer: I personally enjoy Grand Theft Pastry. You run into a bakery and steal as many donuts as you can.

Question 486: Do you have a girlfriend?
Dr. Donez's Answer: As this has been already answered before, the answer is no. Why do you all care so much about my personal life?

Question 487: Why did Adam Sandler just crash into your house on a snowmobile drunk?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...

Question 488: Why does nobody need the unibrow?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Er...

Question 489: Why in heck was I asking all those retarded questions?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I can think of at least one reason.

Question 490: Why does Jay Resop hate sonic games?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sega killed his father.

Question 491: Why is the sky blue?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because it would look funny if it was green.

Question 492: What does Jay Resop look like?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Trust me. You really don't want to know.

Question 493: Pie?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Don't mind if I do, SUCKER! (Eats pie).

Question 494: Hey... I am thinking of putting smbhq and NC into my will. This all depends if you guys will be still around when I die of old age (I'm 17 now so I still have another 70 years on me). What will Jay think of this?
Dr. Donez's Answer: If Jay is still doing this in 70 years, may God have mercy on us all.

Question 495: Dear Donez I have curently revived the ultimate EVIL yes i know it sounds cool but it's not it is curently headed in your direction and there is no way to stop it so... you can deal with it..Right? P.S.I am Cold finger (not off courage)
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sigh...sure. Why not.

Question 496: I have a very important question. Why do Americans know so LITTLE about us Canadians? I mean, we've shared the same border for centuries, yet Americans still think we live in igloos and eat whale blabber. Which we so don't!!!!! And another thing, why do they think as soon as they cross the 49th parallel they enter a permanent winter?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Trust me, Americans know all about their friendly Canadian friends to the south. If it were not for the couragous Canadians, we would have been long since destroyed by the evil Ice Men.

Question 497: Could the get any less creative in the boss names in the MegaMan games? ThunMan, CutMan, AirMan, BurnerMan, MagicMan, PirateMan, ColoredMan, ... jeez... Who writes these names anyway?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Scooby Doo, probably.

Question 498: Who's your daddy?
Dr. Donez's Answer: My daddy is my daddy.

Question 499: I have a question..well, two,actually.first,I'm going to mail a pizza to you.Do you like extra cheese, or my grandmas feet warts? The second question..WHY DID YOU STEAL MY CHICKENS?!?!?bessie,bob,Dr. donez..(its not my fault you look like a mutated chicken..IS IT?)Anyways, then the GIANT ANTS ATE JAY......oh,sorry..
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sorry, only one question per question. Please try again.

Question 500: THE END?...i like monkeys..
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sure, why not. We all like monkeys.

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