1. First and foremost, what gender will you be going with today?
Male.
Female.
Gender? (Don't worry, the questions get easier).

    2. So. How will you be taking this test?
I'm using my computer, duh.
I'm using a computer I stole, duh.
What's a "comp-u-ter"?
Wait a minute...this is a test???
Where's the "Nuke All Infidels" button?
Where's the cake?
Fast. Very fast. See? I'm already done.

    3. If someone came up to you while you were eating an ice cream cone and pushed it into your face, what would you do?
I would seek vengeance in due time. No need to do anything stupid with ice cream in your face.
I would shout "Nice going, jerk!" and proceed to beat the living snot out of the person.
I would report the crime to the local authorities. Justice will always win.
I would just ignore the person and walk away. There is no need to start any trouble over ice cream.
I would scream "HEEEEEEELP!!!" at the top of my lungs.
Mmm...Ice cream.

    4. Here's twenty bucks. Can you go out to the store and buy me a slice of pie?
In the interest of peace, I will do anything.
Sure thing, boss.
Meh. Whatever.
Can I keep the change?
No, but I can steal one for you.
You may have won this round, but I'll get you next time!
What??? Make me, punk!

    5. On an Neglected Scale from 1 to 100, where do you think you rank?
10000. I'm so neglected, Jay Resop had to invent me.
100. I invented the word neglected. In fact, my own mother doesn't remember me.
50 to 99. I'm pretty dang neglected! Why else am I here?
0 to 49. I think there are a few people who don't know who I am.
-50. It's-a-me! Mario!

    6. So what's your favorite way to travel?
Flying. The only way to, well, fly.
By using the Super-Mega-Neuro-Electro-Transportation Center that I invented myself out of old lawnmower.
Well, I can just walk, you know. Who needs transportation?
I don't walk. I stalk.
I just have my henchmen carry me from place to place.
By jumping, duh. What else is there?

    7. Is this a question?
You're freaking me out, man!
Like, my brain hurts.
...
If it isn't then I'm declaring war.
Bite me, Resop.
Look. There is a question mark at the end of your sentence. Of course it's a question, idiot!

    8. I'm thinking of a whole number in between 1 and 5. What is it?
Um...2?
L! It's L!
What kind of stupid, retarded, idiotic question is that???
Can I use a lifeline?
What's it worth to me?
1! 2! 3! 4!!! 5!!!!! Ah ha! It has to be one of those! I win!

    9. Are you getting tired of all of these stupid questions yet?
I'm sure we will be able to resolve a compromise in order to end this unjust suffering.
Of course not! I love trivia!
Make the hurting stop...
Why the heck did I click this stupid link in the first place?
I will hunt you down, Jay Resop, and destroy you!
It's either do the stupid test or do my stupid homework.

    10. When you wake up in the morning, what do you like to have for breakfast?
A nice cool glass of OJ.
I like to eat Mario's soul. Served with some Yoshi Eggs on the side.
My master doesn't allow me to have breakfast...
I eat a power packed meal full of the vitamins that I need to fight evil.
Whatever my servants cook for me. And they better be finished soon, or else!
Anything but veggies.
EVERYTHING!!!

    11. Which of the following phrases do you tend to say all of the time without even thinking?
"Tee-hee!"
"Curses!"
"What?"
"Where is the Taco Barn?"
"Stop, evil-doer!"
"Why me?"
"I'm sorry, but our princess is in another castle."
"Momma-mia!"
"..."

    12. When you hear the word "lemming", what comes to mind?
Gopher-like animals that live in the tundra and have been known to march towards the ocean and drown themselves.
Cliffs.
Pikachu.
A video game you left unfinished and haven't played in a long time, so you want to go play it again and finish it.
A moo-cow.

    13. Which word puts the most fear into your heart?
Mario
Bowser
Diet
Stupidity
Froot Loops (Hey, that was two words. You cheater.)
Monkeys
Peace
War
Silence!

    14. What is the most powerful force on earth?
Physical power.
Political power.
Magical power.
Technological power.
Intellectual power.
Random/Chaotic power.
Destructive power.
Extra power.

    15. What's your favorite color?
Yellow
Blue
Red
Green
Purple
Orange
Black
White
Clear

    16. Which of the following thoughts did you have about the previous question when you answered it?
Wow...a color question. How creative.
What the heck? No Burnt Sienna?
I like colors!
Hold on...I know this one...favorite color...HOLD ON...I KNOW THIS!
Bah. What a waste of my time. Why am I still taking this test?
I wonder how many new colors will be in the next remake of that Mario game I'm in...
Clear isn't a color, idiot!

    17. If you were an enemy in a video game, what kind of enemy would you want to be?
I'd be one of those enemies that stands there and hopes the good guy just runs into me. Yeah, I'm lazy like that.
I'd be one of those enemies who runs back and forth and back and forth and back and...woah. I'm dizzy.
I'd be one of those enemies with the super cool amasing ultra attack that is constantly killing the good guy and making him start over again.
I'd be one of those enemies who is like "Zip!", "Zoom!", "Pow!" Yeah, you know what I mean.
I'd be one of those enemies who just hides in the secret room and hopes that no one finds me.
I'd be one of those enemies who pretends to be bad, only to turn out to be a good guy all along.
I'd be one of those enemies that hides in a bush and then takes cheap shots at the good guys.
Can you say "Mini-Boss"?
I'd be the main boss at the end of the game, of course. I don't take orders from anyone.

    18. Look down this list of words and phrases. Which one do you laugh at first?
Flubber
Poo-bag
This is funny, laugh now
Strawberry foot-cream
Military intelligence
Smack-down
Boo-diddy
Moo-face
I didn't laugh at ANY of those. Your words are terrible! They aren't funny at all! In fact, I'm just going to keep complaining like this until you apologize for this idiotic question! Ah huh. That's right. I'm not leaving. You just watch me. I'm just going to sit right here and I'm not going to continue the test until you make me laugh. And I better see a high quality joke, too. I mean, who would laugh at just a stupid word, anyway? Not me, that's who!
I don't laugh.

    19. Finish this sentence - "Mario was walking in the Mushroom Kingdom when all of a sudden..."
...he saw the princess and they got married and lived happily ever after.
...he slipped in some mud and fell on his face. Ha ha.
...he said "It's-a-me! Mario!"
...he was in a good mood, so he gave all of his gold coins out to the people in town and then treated them all to ice cream.
...for no particular reason, he robbed the local super market.
...a monster jumped out from behind a building and ate him! Bwahaha!
...he picked up a rock and started to bash his face in, for no particular reason.

    20. Is this the last question?
Um. Maybe? I sure hope so.
It doesn't matter if it is or not. I am so out of here right now. I'm not going to even finish it. That's right, you heard me.
I don't care. Where's that cake!?
Just tell me what my character is already! I'm so anxious!
This last question will be your doom.
Well duh. I don't see any more after this, you moron.
If this is the last question, that means that Mario will be around soon to beat me up. Wait, you said last question? I though you said last level. My mistake.