Ask Dr. Donez!



Question 1201: I can't find my shoes, did you take them?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes, and I won't give them back until you clean up your mess!

Question 1202: Are those Radioactive Hotpants ready?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No!

Question 1203: Have you checked out Toonami Lockdown yet? If so, what do you think?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No and I love it!

Question 1204: Does The Amazing Race on CBS rule all?
Dr. Donez's Answer: It rules only Cinncinnati.

Question 1205: My computer is a science project, what should I do?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...run.

Question 1206: Does owning Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 for GBA make me look cool?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Only if you Rule.

Question 1207: Do you follow Formula 1 (the racing league, not a science project)?
Dr. Donez's Answer: All the time. By that, I mean never.

Question 1208: Who would win in a fight between Papa Smurf and King Lemming?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Papa Smurf all the way. You may not know it, but his Red hat gives him super powers.

Question 1209: Is Jay insane?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Of course.

Question 1211: Is Kyle insane?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Only on weekdays and weekends.

Question 1212: Is Shane insane?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I think that's a given.

Question 1213: Why are these lemmings so happy?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Wait, that's a part of your sig. Heh...Heh...

Question 1214: Why don't you wear pants?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Tweeters don't wear pants. Levi's doesn't make pants that fit us.

Question 1215: Do you think Tyra Banks is hot?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Only if she was a Tweeter.

Question 1216: If I'm standing on my picnic table, facing 38 degrees north-northwest on Tuesday with no clothes on, then a meteor crashes one hundred feet away, where are my pants?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Al Gore is wearing them.

Question 1217: Why am I insane? Why, why why why whhhhyyy WHY?!?!?!?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Probably because you use too many question and exclaimation marks.

Question 1218: Whats that behind your back?! is that...pie? or no...THE SUN'S LIGHTBULB!! AHA! waita second....you have pie! I know it!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Dude, stay off the Mountain Due.

Question 1219: How much wood would a wood.....what was I saying again? Was I asking something stupid?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Probably. Switch to decaff.

Question 1220: Is Mario's weakness low fat food?
Dr. Donez's Answer: That and the Ab-rider.

Question 1221: Why are the NPC's in DK64 so crappy?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I'd blame this one on Nintendo again.

Question 1222: If 1 = =2, then shoo fly shoo?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sounds like your drinking what o0fireball0o drinks.

Question 1223: What is your 5th favorite smily face?
Dr. Donez's Answer: A dead smilie.

Question 1224: Dude, where's my toaster?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I don't know, but someone just stole your car.

Question 1225: What if my head exploded right n... *head explodes*
Dr. Donez's Answer: Can we get the clean-up crew in here?

Question 1226: (boils Dr Donez in hot water, electrocutes him, mauls him, and generally causes him a lot of pain) Nyaha! Have you had enough and will surrender my Chrono Trigger game yet?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Ah, but you only THINK that you had me! That was mearly my clone! Hahahaha!

Question 1227: Baah? Bahbahbahbahbahbah?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Go away, you sheep.

Question 1228: I just came up with a great slogan for you to yell at people! It's called, "You sucky sucky stupid whimpy can't do a thing creature!" What d'you think?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I think you have something there.

Question 1229: Surrender the Ice Pick, or face an eternity in the movie theater wathing Cast Away, Titanic, and other terrible movies!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Wait, that's not a question. You'll never get the Ice Pick!

Question 1230: ?puos zzuf eseehC
Dr. Donez's Answer: .uoy knaht oN

Question 1231: Are you really a hippo?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...next question.

Question 1232: Guatelopeamtadagaramay?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Stop that.

Question 1233: What did that mean?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Beats me.

Question 1234: Do you suggest I seek professional help?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No, I suggest unprofessional help.

Question 1235: Do you want me to tell Jay how to use JAVA? Cause I know.
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sure, but don't expect him to understand it.

Question 1236: Is it true that when 5 different types of picks are combined, they form a Doomly Pick?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I don't know, I've only had one pick, the Ice Pick.

Question 1237: Will doom befall ye?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I hope not. I get paid soon.

Question 1238: Are you prepared to face the void?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sure. The void can go derive this.

Question 1239: How do you get the best orange juice?
Dr. Donez's Answer: From grapefuit extr...wait. Nevermind.

Question 1240: When diffraction occurs inside the pituitary glands at the same time that reflection occurs in the thyroid glands, what happens?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Ah oh...you don't want to know.

Question 1241: Did you realize that the question that I just asked you is simply a test of your IQ?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Of course. I know all.

Question 1242: (zaps Dr D with the elec pick again) This is FUN! What do you think?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I think you will now suffer the pain of the Ice Pick!

Question 1243: What if Agile suddenly came back and saw Metaknights "New" sig?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I'd say, well, I don't know.

Question 1244: Do you know the Duck?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You mean Donald? No.

Question 1245: Are you related to the Duck?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Please, don't insult me.

Question 1246: are you one of the mean people who shot the duck?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I would if I had fingers and could play a NES.

Question 1247: Does NC have a temporary URL while SMBHQ is down?
Dr. Donez's Answer: It does now.

Question 1248: Who killed Kenny?
Dr. Donez's Answer: The wabbit.

Question 1249: Who is the guy with the pumpkin on his head?
Dr. Donez's Answer: That's just Bill. Don't mind him.

Question 1250: How do you do it?
Dr. Donez's Answer: With a lot of rope.

Question 1251: Wazzup?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Atoms.

Question 1252: Do you sing the Doom song?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Only in the shower.

Question 1253: When will there be a 3-D rendered movie of Dr. Donez and the NC Crew?
Dr. Donez's Answer: If God is willing...never.

Question 1254: When will Jay create some sort of voice clip of Dr. Donez's voice?
Dr. Donez's Answer: When he gets me in front of a microphone. But knowing Jay's budget, it may take a while.

Question 1255: How did this whole 'Banana Bread' thing get started?
Dr. Donez's Answer: It started with some Grapefuit Extract.

Question 1256: Has the era of comix that parody silly things and make no sense come to it's close? If so, what is the next fad?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Silly things will never die!

Question 1257: Will Dr. Donez be a part of it?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I'm a part of everything.

Question 1258: I still want to know, is it fun with fish?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You don't want to know.

Question 1258: Grrr, Max Energy Elec Pick Blast! Wait, on second thought... (pushes the red button) Are you dead yet?
Dr. Donez's Answer: (The seat next to Dr. Donez explodes.) You missed.

Question 1259: Could I borrow your Atomic Nuclear Plasma Blaster?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No. Well, maybe. On second thought, No!

Question 1260: If so (blasts Dr D with it) did that hurt?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sorry, but you don't have it. I do.

Question 1261: Are Brak Chews good for the soul?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Who knows. They sound kinda strange to me.

Question 1262: Wanna hear some of my powerful Jazz Playing Powers?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...no.

Question 1263: Are you casting asparagus on my cooking?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Why? Is it starting to taste good?

Question 1264: Are you married or happy?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I'm not married and I'm not happy. Man, that bites.

Question 1265: Which one is Will?
Dr. Donez's Answer: He is. No, not him. That other guy. The one with the sausages.

Question 1266: I got Steton; which one is she?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um..you lost me at "I".

Question 1267: Why doesn't Jay open a free online store from cafepress.com?
Dr. Donez's Answer: He's thinking about it, but there are a lot of other messes things to sort out first.

Question 1268: Paper or plastic?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Plasma.

Question 1269: To kill or not to kill?
Dr. Donez's Answer: All of the above.

Question 1270: I cleaned up my mess, can I have my shoes now?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Let me go take a look. (Goes to look.) You missed a spot! No shoes for you!

Question 1271: Want to play Rock, Paper, Scissors?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Sure. But I warn you, I cheat.

Question 1272: Can I have a doggy?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Well, you CAN have a dog. But no, you may not.

Question 1273: Can you have a doggy?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I don't want one. They pee.

Question 1274: Can we have a doggy?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Be quiet already about the dogs!

Question 1275: Can they have a doggy?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Shut up!

Question 1276: Why did I waste all my questions with those crappy queries?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I can think of many reasons, but none of them are very nice to say.

Question 1277: What's 'Mountain Due'?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You know the junk that you find on the bottom of your shoe when you take a hike? Well...

Question 1278: ...Did you ever notice that suspicious camera over there? Are we all being watched? Is it the government that is watching?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I thought I told that camera man to stay hidden! It is so hard to find good help these days!

Question 1279: If your a doctor with five diplomas, why is your spelling and grammar worse then mine when I'm just a Freshman?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Hey, I never said majored in English, now did I?

Question 1280: Yeah, why? I'm only in 7th grade!!
Dr. Donez's Answer: See the answer to the previous question, but add "Polly wants a cracker" at the end.

Question 1281: Can I have a toaster?
Dr. Donez's Answer: No, it's MINE!

Question 1282: Does Dr. Executrain eat waffles for dinner?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes, and I hope he chokes on them!

Question 1283: Am I scaring you?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Boy, are you.

Question 1284: Do you know where I live?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Yes, and I know what you did last winter.

Question 1285: When will the pokemon die?
Dr. Donez's Answer: (Looks at watch) Right about...now.

Question 1286: Why did i program my robot to attack you?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Because you're a big meany-face.

Question 1287: I heard Dr.Excutrain cooked your brother, What would you do?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Um...I don't have a brother. At least not that I know of.

Question 1288: Is there a Jay Resoup?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Only in Jay's crazy mind.

Question 1289: Am I here or there?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You are everywhere.

Question 1290: Can I borrow $100,000,000,000?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Over my dead body.

Question 1291: Why does fred have hair when he's flying?
Dr. Donez's Answer: That isn't his hair, that's his wings fluttering. Plus, Jay sucks at art. But don't tell him I said that.

Question 1292: GUYS! Five questions a post!
Dr. Donez's Answer: Wait...that wasn't a question at all... But the answer is "Fox".

Question 1293: I was wandering around SCPA one time, when somebody screamed, "I'VE KILLED THE WENDY!" Is that bad (p.s., this really happened)?
Dr. Donez's Answer: I have no idea what you're talking about. Yo hablo ingles?

Question 1294: I'll take the mask off of you! (uses the elec pick to destroy the super glue and attempts to take off Dr D's mask) Why, that wasn't a mask after all, that was your face! Did that cause pain?
Dr. Donez's Answer: (Ow...)

Question 1295: I accidentally slipped your super secret weakness to Dr Executrain, now what?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Ah ha! But I don't have a Super Secret Weakness! Wait...or do I? I guess I wouldn't know, since it's a secret.

Question 1296: How did I learn your super secret wekness anyway?
Dr. Donez's Answer: Maybe I got drunk one night.

Question 1297: What do you think, I stumbled across the fire pick accidentally, who should I give it to?
Dr. Donez's Answer: ME!

Question 1298: Did you take MY pizza?????
Dr. Donez's Answer: No, I took MY pizza.

Question 1299: How many licks to the chocolately center of a chocolately choco pop?
Dr. Donez's Answer: You're insane.

Question 1300: What would happen if I jumped into a 12 ft. deep pool,on tuesday,with a mario mask on,and with lemmings tied to bombs on me?
Dr. Donez's Answer: The world would explode.

Go back to NC